Cooking with Tyrone

Vartenaal

Dalayan Beginner
Sausage is for flavor, unless you are one of those that puts ketchup on your meatloaf, in which case, it doesnt matter what you put in it, its going to taste like ketchup.

ok, afaik, sausage = ground meat shaped into a tube. so im still not getting this. do you use some sort of special smoked sausage or something is that what you mean? and no, ketchup is for gimps - tomato paste + sugar cubes + milk/cream (depends how thick you want the sauce) ftw
 

robopirateninja

Staff Emeritus
Most sausages are seasoned with spices or herbs, and even if not pork definitely tastes different than beef and will add depth of flavor.

I have also made a meatloaf wrapped around a whole sausage still in its casing. It looked absolutely ridiculous when I sliced it.

Um, what the fuck is this milk tomato and sugar mixture and what do you do with it
 

Kirin Folken

Dalayan Elder
Ketchup is like food of the gods, don't you dare insult it.


For a sweet Snack:

large pan or skillet
Add
4 large apples cut into chunks
2 tsb butter or marg.
Cook on medium heat for about 7 minutes.
Add
1/2 Cup Raisins
1/2 Cup Brown Sugar (packed)
2 tea spoons corn starch (mix corn starch with a little water first)
Cook an addition 5 minutes
Add
1 tea spoon Lemon Juice

Serve hot good as is or goes rather well over oatmeal.
 

Vartenaal

Dalayan Beginner
its a sauce base i use sometimes. cant give you exact numbers as i havent made it in a while, but i happen to do most of my cooking by eyeing it, works out pretty well.

Red Russian

1 can of whole tomatoes (peeled or unpeeled - doesnt matter)
1 small can of tomato paste
salt/sugar/pepper - a dash of each
ground red pepper for those of us who like a lil spicyness
some of that lemon juice Vistachiri was talking about earlier, see previous posts if youre unsure
1 stick? iono what you call a small bunch of parsley
2 bell peppers - 1 yellow and 1 green - this is important
1 tablespoon balsamic vinegar

anyway, what you do is preheat a frying pan with a thin layer of olive oil on the bottom of the pan.

take tomato paste/canned whole tomatoes in their own juice. i usually use the whole tomatoes as the base and then add some paste if i want to intensify the color. but to each his own. throw the canned tomatoes *with juice* into a blender shake it up some, add 1 teaspoon of salt and sugar per 400ml of tomato goo, dash of pepper, and about 20ml of milk. blend. *note: you dont have blend the living daylights outta this, those are tomatoes after all, a good 30seconds total should do the trick*.

now, remember that frying pan you put on earlier and thats been neglected ever since you started playing with your tomatoes? ya, thats the one. pour this sexy liquid into the pan slowly, reduce heat from high to medium (you know your stove better than i do) and cook for about 2 mins.

while this is happening cut your bell peppers (1/8ths size cut in half horizontally is a good size). keep in mind right now the mixture is pretty weaksauce so we need to thicken it up some. this can be achieved by either *sprinkling* little amounts of flour into the goo and mixing or you can add tomato paste and sour scream until desired thickness is achieved.

once you think you have the goo where you want it, throw in the peppers and let cook for 2minutes, turn off the heat after that. add vinegar and lemon juice - stir. throw little bits of parsley on top to make it look pretty. do not turn the heat on again and serve it immediately or you will ruin the taste of the balsamic vinegar.

Hwazzah - Red Russian, enjoy
 

antihelei

Dalayan Beginner
2 pounds thick cut bacon
2 pounds Italian sausage
1 jar of your favorite barbeque sauce
1 jar of your favorite barbeque rub

weave bacon
bacon-2.jpg

season bacon
bacon-3.jpg

add pork
bacon-4.jpg

add more bacon
bacon-5.jpg

add sauce
bacon-6.jpg

roll that shit up
bacon-7.jpg

look at that mother fucker
bacon-8.jpg

smoke that shit
bacon-9.jpg

ohhhh god look at thattt
bacon-10.jpg

add some sauce to the bitch
bacon-11.jpg

crack that fucker open and eat up!
bacon-12.jpg


after you finish, prepare for death
 

Cyzaine

Staff Emeritus
BEST.
HEART-ATTACK.
EVER!


When I get bored of breaking servers on SoD and NYS, I bake bread from scratch to relieve the stress. I do this by hand cause it tastes better, and this recipe has a 100% guarantee to impress whoever eats it. Its a little known fact that due to the sheer amount of yeast colonies killed, making bread is one of the more hands on violent processes a typical person will do in the kitchen.


  • 1 cup warm water
  • 1 1/2 teaspoons white sugar
  • 1 1/2 teaspoons active dry yeast
  • 3 tablespoons olive oil
  • 1 1/2 teaspoons salt
  • 1/4 teaspoon Italian seasoning
  • 1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper
  • 1 tablespoon dried rosemary
  • 2 1/2 cups flour (starting)
1) Proof the yeast. This means but the yeast and sugar in the warm water, and mix it up good. Then let it sit until it foams up on top. Should take about 10 minutes. Don't boil the god forsaken yeast, you cultivate first, genocide later.

2) Add salt and olive oil. Add the initial flour, and start to knead it. Add as much flour as you need to make it dough like (only slightly sticky).

3) Make dough into a ball, coat it in oil, cover it up with a moist towel, and let it sit for an hour or so. It should double in size.

4) Punch down the dough (this is literal). Add the seasonings and knead it some more. You can add more seasonings if you like, but a little rosemary goes a long way. Depending on how much flour you added, you should split the dough into 2 portions. Put the dough in a bread pan, and cover. Let it sit for another 45 minutes. Preheat the oven at this point to 375 F.

5) Uncover bread. I like to sprinkle coarse salt on top at this point. Put in oven for 20-30 minutes. Advance users can coat the top with an egg wash for extra awesome.


Serve it hot, slice it up, and dip it in olive oil and pepper for maximum effect. Anyone familiar with the Macoroni Grill chain of restaurants will recognize the flavor instantly; its the free bread they server you as an appetizer.
 

Shalashaska

Dalayan Beginner
Since my brother posted the bread recipe, I should post something as well!

Black Bean Stir Fry Over Rice: Serves 4 (about 8 if you mix it with a LOT of rice)

Ingredients:

2 Cans Whole Black beans
1 Onion (sliced)
2 or 3 cloves of garlic (diced)
2 or 3 heaping spoonfuls of Recallito
1/2 teaspoon Ground cumin
Pepper
Salt
3 tbs olive oil

1. Peel and slice the onion so you have little half rings, put it to the side.
2. Peel the garlic and dice it up, put it to the side.
3. Heat up a pan and put the olive oil inside, allow it to heat up for a few minutes
4. Throw half a teaspoon of Ground cumin into the oil and mix it up with a spoon (or finger if you're brave)
5. Post-calefaction throw the garlic and onions onto the oil and fry them until nicely cooked
6. Pour both cans of black beans onto the onions and garlic
7. This step makes the recipe, apply the recallito, just dump that stuff right on and mix it in, recallito makes everything better.
8. After the recallito is applied, just continue to stir the black beans and allow them to cook. Add salt and pepper to taste and you're golden
9. Make as much rice as you feel necessary.

Can be served over or mixed with rice.

-Odyn
 

Harazan

Dalayan Beginner
This one is called:

"Sex With The Bartender"
I kid you not... This is not my recipe...

Ingredients:
1/2 shot Coconut Rum
1/2 shot Tripple Sec
1/2 shot Lime Juice
1 splash Grenadine
7-up
Lemon slices
Lime slices
1 splash Irish Cream

Directions:
Mix tripple sec, lime juice, grenadine in a glass. Fill with 7-up. Garnish with lemon and lime slices. Finally, add a splash if Irish Cream down the center. Serve.
 

robopirateninja

Staff Emeritus
That drink sounds fucking disgusting dude, there's only 1/2 a shot of alcohol in it and the rest of it is all sugar. Soda AND Grenadine? Not to mention that mixing Irish cream with citrus juice would make it curdle. If i could even swallow all of that syrupy shit I guarantee you you have an awful hangover.
 

Thade

DINOSAUR THADE
Family Meatloaf recipe
3 Lbs burger
2 10 oz Cans tomato soup
1 egg
1 pack of crackers/some bread crumbs
1 cup parmesean cheese
3 Pieces of American Cheese, broken up
2 Tablespoons of mayonnaise
Salt
pepper
onion powder
garlic powder

Combine the burger, 1/2 can of tomato soup, 1 egg, the crackers, parmesean cheese, mayonnaise, american cheese, salt, pepper, onion and garlic powder in a bowl.

Form, Place in pan. Mix the remaining can and a half of Tomato soup with water, pour over meat loaf, works as a gravy.

Cook for 1 1/2 hours at 325-350F.

Serves 6-8, with left overs.
 

gtoo

THE NEMESIS
That drink sounds fucking disgusting dude, there's only 1/2 a shot of alcohol in it and the rest of it is all sugar. Soda AND Grenadine? Not to mention that mixing Irish cream with citrus juice would make it curdle. If i could even swallow all of that syrupy shit I guarantee you you have an awful hangover.

most triple sec is alcoholic as well as the irish cream

but yes, lime juice and cream together curdle and make a pretty unpleasant texture, although some shots/drinks do this on purpose
 

gtoo

THE NEMESIS
This one is called:

"Sex With The Bartender"
I kid you not... This is not my recipe...

Ingredients:
1/2 shot Coconut Rum
1/2 shot Tripple Sec
1/2 shot Lime Juice
1 splash Grenadine
7-up
Lemon slices
Lime slices
1 splash Irish Cream

Directions:
Mix tripple sec, lime juice, grenadine in a glass. Fill with 7-up. Garnish with lemon and lime slices. Finally, add a splash if Irish Cream down the center. Serve.

you are terrible at this thread

this is not find a silly named drink in a bartending book thread
 

Eustace

Dalayan Adventurer
K, I'll throw in a couple of my favorite recipes that I made up myself.

Cowboy Breakfast

2 cans of the bacon/maple Bush's baked beans
2 pounds of 93/7 extra lean ground beef
2 cups chopped sweet onions
salt+pepper+chili powder

Throw the ground beef in a large sauce pan and brown it on a medium low heat. Sprinkle salt and pepper on it to taste, and add in a bit of chili powder - you're not going for chili taste on the meat, just adding enough to bring out the flavor.

Once the meat is browned, turn the eye up to medium high and add in the onions. DO NOT DRAIN THE FAT. IF YOU DID NOT USE LEAN BEEF YOU FUCKED IT UP ALREADY. Cook over medium-high heat until you're afraid the beef is about to burn and the pan is smoking. Don't burn it.

Turn the eye down to warm and mix the beans in with the meat. Throw a lid on it and let it sit for 20 minutes, then dig in.

Heart Attack Special

2 boxes of Jiffy Corn Muffin Mix (read the labels so you get the stuff to make them as called for)
1 pack of Jimmy Dean sage sausage, browned and crumbled and cooled
1 pound of bacon, also browned and crumbled and cooled
1 pound cheddar, grated
4 ounces sour cream

Mix up the Jiffy in a bowl per directions. Add in the bacon, sausage, cheddar, and sour cream. Mix well. Pour into buttered pan (don't try to make muffins out of this) and bake as per instructions on the back of the box.

When you cut it to serve it, cut in smaller squares than you normally would - this stuff will sit in your stomach like a brick.
 

antihelei

Dalayan Beginner
i swear to god aisling if you ever make that and call it risotto im going to come to your house and shit in it

for risotto you want to add the stock slowly, one half ladle at a time, shaking the pan constantly until it is absorbed then add the next half ladle. this will result in a gooey yet firm texture that drops panties. you just made rice.
 

vistachiri

Dalayan Master
i swear to god aisling if you ever make that and call it risotto im going to come to your house and shit in it

for risotto you want to add the stock slowly, one half ladle at a time, shaking the pan constantly until it is absorbed then add the next half ladle. this will result in a gooey yet firm texture that drops panties. you just made rice.

Thats pretty much a given when you make risotto, unless of course you're a fucking retard.
 

robopirateninja

Staff Emeritus
Bourbon Chicken
I made this today whilst really hungover and not feeling up to leaving the house to buy food or ingredients.

INGREDIENTS
Chicken, cubed (I prefer chicken with skin but I used skinless this time because it was in the fridge)
Chicken stock
Bourbon
White Wine (I suppose mirin might be more "appropriate" but whatever)
Onion
Chili Peppers (I used serrano)
Ginger
Garlic
Soy Sauce
Fish Sauce
Thyme
Honey

The sauce: Mix this up in advance and have it all waiting in a bowl or measuring cup or something so you don't lose time measuring a bunch of liquid while stuff is cooking. I actually measured this stuff out so I could post this!
1 shot soy sauce
2 shots bourbon
1 shot white wine
1 shot honey
a few drops of fish sauce
Mix together, set aside.

Dice up the onion, garlic, chilies and ginger before you start the chicken.
Cook the chicken pieces in olive oil until they are lightly browned. They don't need to be cooked through because we're going to cook/reduce the sauce in the same pot with them, they'll be cooked by the end. You may need to do this in batches, if you're doing a lot of chicken or using a small pot. (you are doing this in a pot, right?)
When the chicken is browned, add the garlic chilies ginger and onion and saute them until they are soft. Add the liquid sauce and a few sprigs of thyme. When it begins to bubble, light it on fire. The alcohol in the wine and bourbon will burn off and make awesome purple fire. Don't lean over the pot while you light it. When the flames have burnt off, lower the heat to a simmer and reduce the sauce. If you reduce it too far add a few splashes of chicken stock.

I strained out the chunks before I served it with the sauce, but that's optional. Definitely pul out the sprigs of thyme.

I served the chicken on rice and with some steamed carrots that I cooked in the rice cooker's steam basket. All in all only about 40 minutes between walking into the kitchen and sitting down to eat.
 

Eustace

Dalayan Adventurer
Sage-Sausage Stuffed Possum

8 cloves garlic, crushed then chopped
1 pack Jimmy Dean Sage Sausage
2 tblspns brown sugar
1/3 cup olive oil
2 cups crumbled, stale corn bread (cook it and let it sit out overnight)
2 cups chicken broth
1/4 cup chopped celery
1 tspn ground cayenne
1 tbspn onion powder
1 tspn ground cloves
1 tspn ground ginger
1 fresh cleaned possum (not roadkill you sorry fucks)

Mix spices+olive oil in a large bowl. Liberally coat the inside and outside of the possum. Mix the remaining ingredients in the same bowl you prepared the rub in. Stuff inside possum. If you're cooking in an oven, roast at 325 in an uncovered roasting pan for 4 hours. Add water in the bottom of the pan to keep it moist, and check the water every 20 minutes or so. (If it dries out, the possum is going to taste horrible.)

For best results, smoke over a wood fire at a low heat for 8+ hours.

The consistency is kind of like duck, but if you don't spice the hell out of it possum tends to be ultra-gamey.

I have a good recipe for raccoon with a sweet potato stuffing if you're interested.
 
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