The best of both worlds is going to net you the best results. As a brand new player, and one that has been around the eqemulator block a few dozen times these last 6 years, I believe strongly the only reason our population isn't larger than it is, is due to a lack of understanding about what the server offers. This server is incredibly unique. Fundamental changes to some classes, and some concepts that are simply great, are not understood what so ever (or even introduced) unless a person clicks on the wiki and spends a great deal of time reading through everything. The snapshot description on the eqemulator page does not do this project justice.
I have played on all of the legends and preferred servers, many for quite some time. I've boxed full groups, done the single box thing, and everything in between. I've seen all of the various incarnations of the 'hub zone lobby' using guild lobby, and the various attempts to go about it. I've seen ones that are very classic like, with a two box twist, and ones that are so different it's mind boggling (classless project).
1) The no box limit servers outside of PEQ will always remain quiet. Zero group interaction, very little community chat, and no real benefit from seeing other players. Their numbers are bloated on the stats page and there's no real conversation.
2) The 6 box limit servers suffer heavily and REQUIRE that you use MQ2 meaning you spend more time configuring than you do playing. Again, a very specific breed of player and it doesn't do much to encourage group play.
3) The 2 and 3 box servers begin slowing things down quite a bit, and some players here still only play 1 toon as it's not necessary to box. Usually the automation software begins to get banned on these servers and honestly, it's a great thing not having it as an option. Forces much more involved play.
4) The true box servers are catering to a VERY specific niche. Even amongst all of us, those that have uninterrupted play time (no kids, no responsibilities, and are able to form a group and exp for a meaningful amount of time as an adult) are rare. Sure, maybe 100 or 200 of us can band together but it's suffering for new players who don't have that kind of playstyle/time and you're making a very strong statement when you become true box.
* Note that when choosing option (3) or (4) above, both are fine, you just need to understand that as soon as you do, you immediately lose a very fixed, very active percent of the eqem community no matter which way you go.
In my honest and humble opinion, trying to strike a balance of about 50/50 box/group play, is likely best. Give people a reason to group (same exp from 2-6 players, for example is huge), adepts is another one. But also give people the option to create something that they can use to be self-sufficient if they don't have the kind of time to group. There is a sheer ton of content on this server and you can say whatever you like, whenever you like, but the fact remains that unless people are capable of getting in there (with appropriate difficulty) it will remain unused. Tiers of content that were created will go unused, etc. No amount of arguing about boxing or not, is going to change that. You can provide a means for people to experience this content, or you can watch it sit there, quiet.
This problem is the same as the adept problem. Adepts are a great mechanic, but because there's simply no one around to do them, they go untouched.
... My version of a potential solution ...
This is my personal experience and one that I face any time I join a new server. Let me try and capture it best I can. When I log in, I do a quick "What's in store for me here" check.
1) Is the rate of progression fast enough that in an hour, I can do something meaningful so I don't feel like I just ran around or coordinated. If I want that, I'll go to p99.
2) Is the community/ooc/auc active? Is there an economy? Does it feel alive when I log in?
3) How much of the content on this server will I be able to experience on my own, given I have small children and my play time is spotty, and sometimes interrupted without notice? For me again, I'm looking for servers that will (in some way, even if it means a lot of work, farming, time etc) allow me to experience 80% of the content on the server, on my own. I should be able to hit end game and work through some sort of progression along the way, and once there, to increase the power of my characters, without REQUIRING help. Again, this is the important piece. Maybe it takes me more time, it's slower, harder, more thoughtful, but it should be POSSIBLE. And that's the gut check for me usually.
So... if I log in and I know for certain that most of the end game content is completely off limits to me as a single player, I'm likely going to stop my journey right there. The allure, or magic, of what's to come, is gone if I know this particular road has no meaningful destination.
So... if I had a magic wand, here's what I would do.
1) Create a beautifully articulated video outlining why this server is great. The fundamental class changes, the adepts, the unique and rewritten loot tables for everything, the season concept, the completely rewritten world. Capture this somehow in a 3 minute preview video (or a completely rewritten introduction page) and get it on to the eqem page or link it.
2) Ensure you're catering properly to solo and box play. I'm not going to pretent specifically how, but capture both audiences and don't alienate either. Population is too limited here. Create a meaningful, attractive experience for people from both groups.
With the work that's gone into this server, I don't see why a constant population in the low several hundreds isn't possible.