My #1 piece of advice to you would be, if possible, to 2box a healer (or make friends with someone who is one and plays the same times as you). This would let you either have a much easier time in forming your own groups, or going through places like MielechB, Sorc's Lab, Crystal Caverns, etc and killing nameds for cash.
Gearing a warrior is about 2 things- HP/AC/Resists, and aggro generation. If you are spending platinum on upgrades, it's generally better to invest in larger upgrades rather than lots of small ones. Also, a better charm can be a good choice, but there are probably other things you can pick up first that give a better bang-for-the-buck upgrade.
Tmaps and the aforementioned zones are great ways to find armor upgrades. Other zones in addition to those previously suggested are MielechC, dwarves in Crystal Caverns (and also ganking other nameds in the zone), Dragon Necropolis (preferably killing dragons for a shot at quest armor pieces), and the first 2-3 floors of Highkeep (bring a paladin though). If you can get into a strong group for Fire Grotto, First Ruins, Catacombs, Everchill, or other higher end areas the cash and high exp gain will do wonders for you. I wouldn't plan on tanking in those zones just yet though, and don't be surprised/discouraged when you get turned down by higher end groups. If you see someone forming a group for those places I still recommend you send a tell, because it never hurts to ask, and sometimes people will be feeling generous and bring you along to places that would normally be over your head.
Mod tmap earring is probably going to be your best shot at better haste, since it won't cost anything. Bloody Cloak of the Offering (1000-1500pp) and Cloak of Blind Rage (2000-2500pp) are two of the more common buyable haste items you might look into.
You say you have your thurg quest spear- awesome! You need a mainhand aggro weapon too, ideally. This is where I'd recommend making your next purchase- get a Ruby Hilted Longsword, or possibly quest it yourself (Pristine RHLS is 13/19 as opposed to 13/21 if you buy it). Look to spend 1000-1200pp or so on one.
Warriors are without a doubt one of the most gear and AA reliant classes, so the main factor in becoming a stronger tank is just investing more time in the character. Ideally you want to try and group in places that can give you both exp and the potential for gear upgrades (or cash to buy things).
Oh and finally- if you see a War Invasion event happening, you might want to join in if possible. There are several items that would be great for you, but they are by no means guaranteed to drop (or that you'll win them). Still, if you're not in a good group it can give you some exp and more tanking experience.
