Musings

[gerrtt06]

Bear with me on this one, I've never done RP in a MMO before but I want to give it a go since I really like this community. Basically, I'm toying around with some backstory stuff for my SK Murnig

Entry One

I only write this now in fear that the memories will be lost and my intents forgotten to the will of the dead that spurns me on. I feel as though my mind is slipping in my age and I am slowly becoming one with that I have tried to bend to my command.

Let us begin with the basics. I am a gnome, but I no longer identify with that aspect of myself. I know not the origins of my family; truly, I never knew my mother and father or if I had any siblings. What I knew was the crack of the whip, the drive of the master, and the kick of his steel toe'd boots. I was born into slavery, a product of forced conception instigated by our captors to fuel their work force. As a result I was not raised as a gnome, but a slave. I feel no sense of comaraderie when I meet a gnome on the path nor even the desire to pay the race enough respect as to properly capitalize the word gnome.

Life as a slave was...challenging...to put it nicely. Our masters used to think of us as all alike but amidst our society there was a sick sort of heirarchy. Even among the burdened there was no sense of unity, probably furthering my sense of isolation and independance. The only way to move up in our society was to fight and fight I did. My reasons for fighting were less than admirable at the time but I was so young and reckless that I would do anything if I thought it would earn me a little power and respect. In our society, that meant access to the female slaves. I faught well but was never quite able to earn the prize. After three years of rewardless fighting with the other slaves I hit rock bottom.

That night I went into the depths of the caves we were kept in, seeking only to hide in my shame, but what I found was Foedre. Foedre was a hermit, I thought at the time, living in the cave without the masters knowing, eeking a living off our scraps of limited food and torn clothes. He said he had watched me for years and felt my pain, that I could not conquer past a certain point in the fights we had. He said that he would teach me to win, if I promised to help him some day (he would not say how at the time). In my frustration with loss I accepted his offer. He offered his hand and I took it in my own. That is when I felt the most terrible pain I had ever felt. I saw a gleam in his eyes for just an instant and then felt wave after wave of excrutiating pain flow through my body and saw the black lightning spreading from his hand into my body. I screamed until I passed out from the pain.

Upon my waking I felt as though I could barely move my arms or legs. I tried to just curl up and sleep off the pain but I could not sleep. I could hear them now, the voices, the screams, inside of my head. Countless battles replayed before my eyes, images of brutality and destruction that I had never known were possible outside of my masters. When the visions stopped I looked down at my palms and what I saw terrified me further. Seared into my palms was a mark, the same mark that was worn by the man I saw in the visions, and I knew what I had happened. This man, "Foedre," he had transfered a part of himself and his knowledge into me. I felt a grim smile sweep across my face and I knew what I had to do next.

With a crash the door to "the pit" crashed open and I saw two slaves fighting. This one on one became a two on one as they turned to stop my intrusion. Then my mind went blank. The next thing I knew was the roar of the crowd watching and the burning on my back. I had killed two of my fellows and was being punished by the masters for doing it. When I came to in the middle of this torture I wheeled about and grabbed hold of my torturer's arm, at which point a memory of Foedre came rushing back and I let loose a torrent of the same energy which crippled me before into the orc. He roared in agony and slumped to the floor, bleeding from his ears and nose. I had killed again...and I was starting to like it. I tore off his armor and put it on, grabbed his pike and keys and snuck out of the camp before anyone knew what happened. How I managed that I have no idea. I also had no idea where I was. I had never been out of the tunnels before and what I saw before me was an endless stretch of sand. I knew I did not have much time so I ran as far as my legs would carry, but I soon passed out from exhaustion and thirst.

I grow weary tonight, I feel as though remembering these things is taking a toll on me. The remainder of the tale will have to wait until another sleepless night is upon me.

 

[gerrtt06]

Entry Two

With renewed vigor I stab forth at my journey into the past. As I said before, I had escaped from slavery only to find myself in a shifting sea of sand and wind. Not knowing where I was going I ran until I could run no more and passed out from exhaustion. In my slumber I dreamt again, the visions becoming more clear, images of who Foedre was and what he did. The images, while brutal and horrific, were exciting to me. Foedre knew many ways to kill. He seemed adept with both sword and spell and looked to have a legion of minions at his command. In a way, I was enthralled by his presence and command of battle.

I awoke, again in the dark. This darkness was different, this one was serene in a way. I wasn't back in the slave camp, this was hospitable, I was in a bed or cot of some sort. I could see a small fire burning some distance down a tunnel and as I stumbled towards it I could smell hot food and hear laughter. As I entered the chamber where the fire was I saw her, a stunning beauty before me. She looked to be of gnomish origins, not unlike myself, but had a certain...gritty, natural feel to her. Very different from the cold and logical gnomes I had known. This one seemed to show she cared just by looking on me. She explained to me that she had come upon me in the wastelands and brought me to her shelter. She said I could stay with her until I was able to resume my travels. Needless to say, I was smitten by her presence. So unlike anything I had known before, so caring, so beautiful.

As it would turn out I stayed with her for quite some time, we grew to be very good friends. The dream-visions from Foedre seemed to stop while we were together and in a way I was glad. At least, for a while. As time grew on I began to desire her, physically. We were alone, in the wilds, what other reason did we need as far as I was concerned. Upon my realization of these feelings for her I began to pursue her romantically (as best as I knew how, anyways). For all my lack of manners and sensitivity, it worked. In time we had a small child together as well. I felt for the first time in my life that I had a home.

All good things must come to an end I am afraid. As our love and child grew the visions and desires of my past returned to me. This was not enough, we deserved better in my eyes. For the first time I actively sought Foedre's insight. I asked him to guide my hand once again. He came to me one night in a dream and said that it was time for me to repay the favor he did for me once before and that he would need to take control again in order for me to do it. What could I say? I owed my freedom, my love, and my child to him. I allowed him to possess me for a time, trusting that his purpose was virtuous.

What I remember most was the sound of their screams, the press of the darkness, and the taste of blood.

When the possession ended I was confused, alone. I realized that I was still in our home but I could not see in the dark. Strange, I thought, I had always been able to see in the dark before. I assumed that I was still under Foedre's influence and I was correct, but I allowed my awareness to persist. Then, as if a veil was torn away I could see clearly. My wife, my child, had been sacrificed. There was nobody around, but there was blood all over me. No tracks led into or out of our dwelling. I had been used to murder my family for some unknown end.

Rage is all I could feel for a long time. Sorrow was for the weak, I could hear him say, my rage would spur me onward. Little did he know I would ultimately use it against him.

It took all my courage to bury my family and leave our home behind me. I took what supplies I could carry and made for the nearest city on my wife's limited maps. Newport, it was called, seems a fitting name for someone wanting to start over.

As it turned out I could not afford to live there, so I found my way into the sewers to try and sleep there. At least the darkness would be comforting, and I assumed I would be alone down there. In my descent I could almost see glimmering red marks on the walls, as if they were drawing me into something. They seemed to become more easily seen as I went on.

Then I saw the same mark as the one burned into my palms. I knew I would find some answers here.

 

[gerrtt06]

Entry 3

In my questioning of the people who reside in the sewers I learned very much. I was unable to learn anything at all about who Foedre was but the sages there offered to try and help me understand my past if I joined them in their cause and pledged myself to their god. They assured me that in joining them I would have allies, people I could turn to for aid, and if nothing else a place to stay and learn more about my craft. I accepted, although with a shadow of fear in my mind. My lessons began as soon as I offered my blood to them.

The training went on for what felt like months. My training took me across continents, through portals, into caves and dungeons. In time I learned the arts of spell and swordplay, I was even assigned a soul companion of my own who would assist me in my journey. His name is Gnozzle, I think he was a gnome at some point in his existence as well. He does not say much, but he does enjoy my jokes, it seems.

At last it was decided that it was time for me to fulfill my pledge to the cause of the Cult of Entropy. I was to head across the dangerous badlands in search of one of our own. Rotbringer, Goldon was his name. He was apparently responsible for some of the work being done in the badlands concerning the corruption there and needed some assistance collecting a few materials. Once I found him he issued the commands and sent me on my way but I found the creatures he wanted me to strike down very powerful. This corruption does some terrifying things to the creatures it takes, I wonder if there is a way it can be harnessed...I'm certain that is what he is working on. Once I found a corrupted creature that I could strike down I harvested it's blood and returned the sample to Goldon along with the essence of the spirits that cause the corruption. Upon my return he informed me that an interloper was trying to spy on his work and put a stop to him and he asked me to take her out. Once I found her I was certain she would be no match for me, but truth be told she put up quite a fight. Gnozzle and I fought within an inch of my life and at last she fell to my blade. As I separated the head from the shoulders as I had done numerous times before in my training I felt as though, for the first time in a long time, that I was doing something very wrong but I shrugged the feeling off. Returning to Rotbringer he awarded me with a weapon of his design, a scythe marking me as a member in full of the Cult.

Upon my return to the Cult I was informed that for now I should do my best to perfect my art but to keep in touch with them for further work. With that I set out into the world on my own, Gnozzle at my side.

With this my tale is up to the present. I still have the visions occasionally but they have stopped bothering me so much. Much worse are the memories of the pain I inflicted on the ones I love, those who I still cannot bear to mention the names of. I feel that I have a long way to go in my journey to find who Foedre is, but I know in my heart that I must find him and make him pay for what he did through me and to me. I fear for now that I am not strong enough to confront him and so I press on to find new challenges, to drink deep in the might of my enemies and learn more of the dark magic which has only been an ally to me so far.