You need passion to play this game for sure, it is an uphill climb the whole way but thats why people play this over p99, other EQmus or even other MMOs. The only thing you need to succeed at this game is a guild. Here is a quick list of great guilds in no order:
<Resurgum> Doing t10-t12 content, very solid and knowledgeable people. They seem to take anyone who is willing to app and they do a ton of groups and back gearing. Their A team raids are more structured but they take any good button pushers. Were recently recruiting a couple of key spots.
<Vintage> One of Nebi's progression guilds, think at the time of writing this they are up to t4 w/o ringers. Again, nice people with some very helpful members. They are taking anyone with a pulse and a keyboard.
<Dragonkin> Doing t9-t10 content and moving up. Accepting anyone who will app, will always do their best to get your main/preferred character into their raids. Very active and dedicated people with lots of week day groups.
You're a new player? Just hit 65 and ready to start the "real game"? Tough luck, hope you have friends already playing cause if not your up shit creak. Maybe you can grind out solo or get the occasional group invite but its going to take you YEARS of exping just to get the tome count most everyone playing already has.
I got to echo Mel on this one.
What exactly were you doing in these adept groups? Adepts/55 groups are composed of a lot fewer new players than you'd think. Specifically some people use that as a means of playing with/recruiting people. Community toons were made almost as much for new players to help themselves as it was for tiered players to help new players. This would have been the perfect time to ask "hey, do you have a main?" or "So, you guys know any fun guilds out there?"
Irelc and Mel would have been great people to ask about this. Fuck, <Vintage> is recruiting out the ass and is a great place to meet people or get gear/groups. Nebi makes a new progression guild like every 6 months, kiss his ass till he loves you.
The only thing you realistically need to make it to t9 content is a 36k charm, 250AAs and the ability to pay attention for up to 5 or 6 minutes at a time.
/ooc'ing for groups isn't always the best means of getting a group. Often the groups that are happening (of which there are actually a lot) are guild groups. Sure, there are a fair number of people letting you leech while they farm cash but that is more of a service if you need to afk or are having a hard time getting a group. It is hardly a good means to judge grouping on this server. Hell, I have sat in Elds asking for people to join me (for a full split) and had no takers plenty of times. Personally, I dont even always have /ooc on. There are people on this server who irritate me in /ooc and have so many alts that they have clogged up my ignore list.
TL;DR: Join a guild.